cloverfield_poster.jpgI can’t say that I went into this movie with very high expectations. Quite the contrary, I’m actually very wary of movies with a lot of hype and mystery surrounding them. Still, I did watch Cloverfield with an open mind. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t as disappointed as most. In general, most people I spoke to were disappointed.

Even though I did somewhat enjoy the movie I have to admit it had many plot holes, bad decisions, and absurdities. In a whole, it was entertaining, I give it that, but the following points keep it from being good in my eyes. Warning, from this point on the article is pretty much all spoiler:

10. The Camera’s constant shaking made a lot of movie-goers sick to the stomach. It wasn’t all bad though. It did work in a few ways. It provided mostly only short glimpses of the monster in question, which makes for more suspense. It also did immerse the spectator more as you do feel that it is more “real”.

9. The Camera survives the bombardment. I admit that this is a possibility, but it’s still a huge stretch. The scene at the end leads the viewer to believe that the monster was in close proximity. After bombing the hell out of it, I’m sure whatever they hit it with last would have been able to destroy a camera nearby.

8. The Monster looked plain stupid. I understand that this could just be my own opinion but I found the design of the monster itself absurd. If you disagree then disagree all you want. This is an opinion piece after all (mostly).

7. Lack of Reaction to Brother’s death. I don’t know what kind of relationship the main character had with his brother but it seemed like they were very close during the party. If my brother was just killed I’d be a hell of a lot sadder than the character was. It’s not like he was scared into lack of feeling, it was his love for his once-friend-turned-one-night-stand that kept him from remembering his brother until his mother called him? Please, spare me. Even though she was very pretty, a brother deserves, and would get, a lot more of a reaction.

6. Chopper Flies too close to the Monster. If you were a pilot charged with rescuing people from a Monster, wouldn’t you fly in a straight line, at top speed, away from the Monster? I sure would! I wouldn’t hover on top of him. I know a chopper isn’t a jet, but make an effort at least! Also, surviving the plane crash is pretty insane. I know it has happened before but what are the odds?

5. Last People on Chopper? So, the last rescue copter leave at 06:00 hours. They just happen to be the last people there (no line-up) out of all of Manhattan? Come on! This is just so friggin unbelievable it’s laughable.

4. The Monster Sneaks up on the Camera man? Hasn’t anyone learned anything from Jurassic Park? If a Monster walks towards you, the earth itself will let you know. How does a monster the height of a skyscraper sneak up on anything?

3. The Monster took notice of the Camera man after the copter crash? If you were just hit with a crap-load of bombs, would you stop and smell the cameraman? While diligently ignoring his friends who are just a few feet away? If I was attacked by a swarm of bees, I wouldn’t stop and look at a group of ants and single one out to step on.

2. The Monster is Houdini in Disguise. Ok, so after killing the Camera man and no one else, the Monster tip toes out of there quite a as a mouse? I don’t know why I’m surprised, in number 4 he snuck up on the cameraman, only natural that he vanishes afterwards like a bona fide ninja after his super ancient, silent, and secret monster stealth assassination!

1. He held on to the Camera the whole time. This is the most absurd part of the movie. I understand that there wouldn’t have been a movie if the cameraman had dropped the camera at the first sign of danger, but maybe that should have been enough of a cue for the directors/producers to decide that the whole hand-held camera thing was probably a bad idea in the first place. If I was attacked by insects the size of a pit-bull I’d drop a hell of a lot more than a camera and so would anyone else out there.

Well there you have it. Did you find any plot holes or absurdities that I missed? Let me know!