I intended my first post to be a touching plea about censorship and free speech but this would have to wait for later, since thenketchup_bottle_picture.jpg something more important has happened: I had to eat!

So I tried to fix myself a nice a nutritious meal (6 hot dogs actually) and found out that I was out of Ketchup. Now I’m French-Canadian and not an American so I don’t put ketchup on everything and anything but hot dogs NEED ketchup.

So I went to the 7-11 (it’s quite late as I write this) and all they had was a ‘classic’ GLASS Heinz Ketchup bottle.

I just finished battling with it and am eating as I write this (keyboard cleanliness is for wusses) and a battle it was, of epic proportions. I had forgotten how frustrating those Glass Ketchup bottles could be. A little drop here and there, then you knock on the bottle and get a big batch covering your hand like if you had just went into a killing rampage in your neighborhood then you have start over for the next hot dog. (not that I ever went into a killing rampage nor that you could prove it)

WHO THE HELL at Heinz still think it’s a good idea to market those glass bottles? I mean, come on, the first time I saw those ‘squeezable’ plastic bottles when I was a kid I was convinced (and still am) that it was the greatest invention of ALL TIME, on par with Velcro (Velcro looks like a very good invention for a kid who hated lacing his shoes. But I’m ok going solo since I’m 11…. Ok ok it WAS my 12th birthday but I was born at night so I was STILL technically 11… but I digress).

Back to the plastic bottle: You just squeeze it and Voila! Perfect spread and quantity of ketchup everywhere, no longer do you have to clean the floor just to savor a few north-American delicacies.

Why but WHY do they keep making those glass bottles? Is glass cheaper than plastic? Me no think so. Keep it fresh longer? I doubt so very much. So WHY???? Nostalgia? Well maybe, but I don’t see anyone keeping a bucket full of polio virus for nostalgia sake.

What do polio and Glass ketchup bottle have to do with one another? Well, they were both a plague upon mankind for decades and if you wonder which one was worst, you have to remember that the polio problem was fixed at least 20 years BEFORE the glass bottle.

Does my 7-11 own the final batch of glass bottles made decades ago? Well I simultaneously hope for and against that (hope it’s so for the good of mankind but hope not for the good of my digestive track).

In conclusion, I don’t think there could be ANY reason to explain why Heinz still make GLASS ketchup bottles except for pure evil so in this, as with everything else, I blame the Muslims.

Good night.