Towards Mecca » “Whatever Works” simply Doesn’t.

larrydavid When invited to view a pre-screening of the new Woody Allen directed movie, I was thrilled. I wouldn’t say I’m particularly a fan of Allen, but I’ve been itching for a good comedy for a while and was hoping “Whatever Works” would scratch that itch … instead it gave me a rash.

The movie started off fine. The first part had plenty of laughs, though they were usually “amused chuckles” more than “uncontrollable gawfaws”. Still, I was in the mood to laugh and it sporadically complied with my wish, so half way through the movie I was pleased. Then the proverbial manure hit the air ventilation system in a big way.

A warning to anyone who might still go out and watch this movie after this post, there be Spoilers ahead, tread with caution. The story in a nutshell is about a cynical old Jewish New Yorker called Boris Yellnikoff played by Larry David. Boris fears death and hates everything and everyone else. His apparent fear of dying doesn’t stop him from repeatedly trying to unsuccessfully end his life. Boris meets a young, attractive, young, stupid, and very young runaway named Melodie. I cannot stress how young 22 year old Evan Rachel Wood looks in this movie, closer to 15 than 22 and I can’t shake the feeling that was intended.

whatever-works For a person with Woody Allen’s background and reputation, you’d think he would stay clear of using such a young looking actress to play the role of the love interest of his 60-70 year old protagonist, but I guess Allen wrote this movie more to justify his own perverted outlook on life than to simply entertain. Still, this was somewhat expected and I was so grateful that the on screen couple never shares an on camera kiss (or anything more) that I was willing to look past it.

What I couldn’t forgive was Allen’s blatant and hateful atheism. Don’t misunderstand that statement, if someone chooses to be atheist, so be it. I have many athiest friends and they all know that they are free to discuss their beliefs and my beliefs any time. This was different. Allen wasn’t trying to convince anyone that God doesn’t exist, he was mocking anyone who believes in God, especially Christians, and anyone who would stick to any kind of moral code whatsoever. I’m not Christian nor a Christian sympathiser in any way, but I cannot laugh at hateful jokes made at their expense.

Melodie’s parents are both portrayed as practicing and believing Christians and are incessantly ridiculed for being such until Melodie’s mother starts sleeping around and later moves in with 2 men, and until her father decides he’d rather be homosexual. At one point, her father goes down on his knees to pray and Boris doesn’t stop mocking him hatefully for his faith. This is not an effort to convince people their beliefs are wrong, this movie won’t open up inter-faith dialogs, it is meant to justify Allen’s perversions and make him feel better about his hatred of everything.

The title of the movie “Whatever Works” is basically a shorter way to say what he really wanted to name the movie “Do anything you like, with anyone you like, without thinking about the consequences, oh and Christians are stupid.” If you’re ok with that, you’ll still probably think the movie was lame past the half-way mark, but you might enjoy the perversions within. Was it funny? Yes, enough. Will I recommend it? No, in fact I urge people to boycott it and all similarly hateful movies.