Mon 14 Sep 2009
Yeah, I know that I’m a little late to the party, but I didn’t get a chance to watch Star Trek: Enterprise when it first aired, and then I had passed over too much to jump in, so I missed the series completely the first time around. Recently, I intended to remedy the situation and watch the only Star Trek I haven’t yet seen (though I still haven’t finished DS9).
Other Trekkies I spoke to were split on whether they liked it or not so I knew that it was somehow different than the other series even before I got started. To cut to the chase, I didn’t like Enterprise very much. Here are 10 reasons why (Ahoy, there be spoilers ahead):
10 – T’Pol
Since Enterprise takes place before the alien-infested Star Fleet we know and love, there are few aliens races that would actually have a believable reason to serve on a human vessel. A Vulcan was obviously needed to fill that void and, hitting two birds with one stone, the writers deemed it wise to make the said Vulcan both female, attractive, and dressed in skin-tight clothing to fill that necessary Star Trek archetype as well.
The problem is, due to their suppressed emotions, Vulcans are boring. Spock was half human and often lost his nerve because of that. Data, though an android and not Vulcan, had similar issue with emotions but at least tried to emulate them so that we could collectively laugh at his attempts. T’Pol also needed a reason to show her emotions before we quickly grew bored of her. Time and time again the writers found reason after reason for T’Pol to be emotional that it wasn’t boredom I felt but annoyance at the most emotional member of the cast.
Seriously, if you wanted a Romulan then write up a Romulan.
9 – No Show Stealers
Star Trek had Kirk and Spock, and Star Trek: The Next Generation had Picard and Data. Both series had memorable (and not so memorable) supporting cast members.
Enterprise is way too heavy on the not so great and completely lacking in the great department. Any way you cut it, Captain Archer and T’Pol just don’t measure up.
8 – Low technology
Though no one’s fault other than the person who decided to make a prequel, Enterprise’s technology makes it lose automatic points when compared to it’s more futuristic counter-parts. Fans have grown accustomed to holodecks and food synthesizers, energy shields and tractor beams, photon cannons and talking computers, it’s cruel to ask them to give all that up. This is especially true of the holodeck, my # 1 most wanted piece of technology from the Star Trek universe. Not to mention that despite the scale back, Archer’s Enterprise still looks much more futuristic than Kirk’s. Perhaps a prequel was not what the series needed.
7 – Malcolm Reed
Malcolm is another character without an iota of depth. I concede, on The Next Generation, Worf would always give the same Attack” or “I don’t trust them” council depending on the situation same as Malcolm did on Enterprise. Worf was a Klingon, what’s Malcolm’s excuse?
Also, Worf was a bad-ass who can wield a Sword of Khaless! Malcolm is a puny Brit who fits the part of a security chief about as well as Austin Powers would. Even Tasha Yar was much better suited to the role before they wrote her off the show.
6 – Doesn’t Fit
It’s strange that such a huge event as that of the Xindi’s attack on earth that killed 7 million humans goes unmentioned in all of the series that follow Enterprise chronologically. Also, the humans have already had contact with the Borg and the Romulans? Those story arcs, and others to varying degrees, make Enterprise feel as if it really doesn’t belong in the same universe at all but more of an alternate reality of sorts.
Sure, it wasn’t all bad, enterprise did a fair job of explaining the universal translator’s evolution, the birth of the prime directive, and the changes to the Klingon’s physical discrepancies within the other series (which Deep Space 9 also covered to a lesser degree), but in the most part this series felt more independent than it had any right to as a prequel.
5 – Theme Song
Don’t take my word for it, be the judge yourself.
4 – Time Travel
Maybe I should write a blog post about Time Travel rules like I did for Dimension Jumping rules. Not only Enterprise, but the entire Star Trek universe would have benefited from some mainstreaming of Time Travel and it’s implications. Hats off to the few series such as LOST that actually take a (so far) great approach that shows they actually have a basic understanding of what would happen if someone went back in time. LOST’s approach is not the only one that works, but the important thing is that it DOES work. In LOST, no one can change time by traveling to the past. What happened, happened. Another valid choice is the creation of alternate dimensions whenever something is changed. That works as well. What doesn’t work is when time traveling changes things in real-time in the “current” time line … Yup, not enough space to explain this here, I’ll just have to make a separate post some day.
3 – Travis Mayweather
I’ve never seen Anthony Montgomery act in any other television show or movie, and for that I am eternally grateful. He is definitely not the only bad actor on the show but he is by far the worst. So much so that he could easily symbolize every bad actor not only on Enterprise, but on every Star Trek ever made … maybe even ever sci-fi show period. If you thought Wil Wheaton was bad as Wesley Crusher … well you’d be right but Anthony Montgomery is like Wil Wheaton on crack … in a bad way. It was such a relief when they started giving him less and less face-time as the series progressed.
2 – The Aliens
After Firefly and BattleStar Galactica, I just can’t stomach humanoid aliens anymore. I’ve never had a big problem with them before as I’m sure most sci-fi fans never had either, but now with the mainstreaming of sci-fi and the much better writers and actors that comes with that, I can’t help but look a blue skinned, antennaed Andorian in the face and not cringe.
I know the other Star Treks were even heavier in the Aliens department, but the title says “10 Reason why Enterprise just didn’t work”, not “10 way how Enterprise is different than the other Star Treks that didn’t work”. I just don’t think there’s going to be a market for another sci-fi with humanoid Aliens for a while.
1 – Captain Archer
I’m not actually referring to Scott Bakula’s acting, which is bad mind you but is not the point of this entry, I’m referring to the character of Captain Archer as portrayed by Scott Bakula. A man so without identity, so confused about whether to be an angry, vengeful war hero, a sympathetic, friendly father figure, or an insubordinate and whiny underling, that all three personas fell flat. The writers obviously wanted to merge the best facets of Picard and Kirk but they ended up with a Captain that actually made me miss Janeway.
To make it worse, some time-traveling bits showed or referred to “future Archer” being a decorated hero who history will remember as the greatest explorer ever. Presumptuous much? Oh, and his obsession with water-polo is downright creepy.
Alright, I’m done ranting. Anyone out there agree/disagree with me feel free to leave you mark or forever hold your peace.
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September 15th, 2009 at 17:47
Will you watch Dead Set now??!! Jeez
September 15th, 2009 at 18:37
I did watch Dead Set. Review coming right up
September 15th, 2009 at 22:18
My point of view:
10- T’Pol was not that bad. She had to cope with emotions especially at the end. Also you can’t say a Vulcan and Chinese girl mutually massaging each other with some kind of lubricant/antibiotic is not helping the increase the audience
9- Meh, good point.
8- I dunno, for a cannon fan this is rather interresting. Also it forces the writers to use imagination when you can’t fix everything with a inverse-tachyon beam.
7- The actor who did Malcom Reed perfetly played the role of a subordinate British officer. The problem is England, not the actor.
6- Enterprise is more or less set in a different universe. The Xindi attack did not happend in the Kirk universe, that’s the whole point of the temporal cold war. For example; the first contact with the Klingons should have started a war while in Enterprise it went (kinda) well. As for the Borg, the crew never see them physically or are aware of their name, therefore it could be included in the ‘cannon’ history no problem. As for the Romulans, Star Trek history says Earth (Starfleet?) and them went to war pre-kirk but no humans ever saw a Romulan before TOS, Enterprise din’t change anything to that.
5- No no no no. GREAT opening, good song and I liked the way they twisted it for the Mirror universe episodes.
4- You damn racist
Just kidding, ya he sucks but every serie needs it ‘newbie’.
3- You are contradicting your arguments from article 6. Enterprise could not really introduce aliens unknonws in TOS, at least none that would be politicaly/military poweful. Futhermore the actor they took for the ‘main’ Andorian is great and the inside jokes between him and Archer (being both main actors in Quantum Leap) were great. Also it gives more credence to the relative hostility Vulcans and Andorian shows to one another in TOS.
1- Agree, I like Scott Bakula but his acting in Enterprise was terrible. But I doubt it was his fault. The writters could probably not make their mind about how the captain should be. And dont you complain about Janeway. She’s not my favorite captain by far but the actress managed to create a real character despite the writers cluelesness.
September 15th, 2009 at 22:44
@ JF:
10 – You’re right, she wasn’t the worst thing about Enterprise, that’s why she weighed in at # 10
8 – I agree that my interest was peeked when I first heard about a show relating to the first Enterprise ever, but that interest fades quickly unless the show keeps it going.
7 – I still believe he was miscast. He doesn’t feel like a security chief in any way.
6 – I never thought about it that way. But then, assuming you’ve seen the finale, how come Riker and Troy seem like the ones from the dimension/continuation we all know and love? Something’s not right one way or the other.
5 – Oh God no, this point I will not concede, the music is awful!
4 – Your 4 is my 3
3 – Yes, the actor who played Shran was perhaps the best actor on the show! Too bad he had blue skin and antennae
All I’m saying is that I’m fed up of skin tone and ridges masking humans into Aliens. It’s not Enterprise specifically, it’s all of Star Trek/Star Wars. After BattleStar Galactica and Firefly, it’s hard to go back…
1 – Janeway wasn’t bad, but she was far from Picard and so I saw her in a negative light for a long time. Now that I’ve experience Archer, I wouldn’t mind getting Janeway back at all
September 16th, 2009 at 03:33
OMG all of you out that dam Archer – he is by far the best captain – . The writers could probably not make their mind about how the captain should be. And I would think that that would be sooo fitting, after all the the fleet to go to space, you don’t know how you would be. Yes he was “so confused about whether to be an angry, vengeful war hero, a sympathetic, friendly father figure, or an insubordinate and whiny underling, that all three personas fell flat”. I disagree with the insubordinate and whiny underling – Archer was human and he had a humane relationship with his crew and they respected him totally. When he had to get mad he did and the crew paid attention to him.
Enterprise is the only Trek Ive seen all of, and to me its the best, you say you are sick of human aliens, well I totally dont like that the other treks are full of aliens that is what sooooo turned me off all the other treks and why I like Ent the best. As for captain Janeway theres nothing wrong with her either.
as for the music for ENT I agree with bigJF the music and song are great, totally different from the other treks which also makes it great.
September 16th, 2009 at 03:34
meant to say ‘all of yu out there that dam Archer’
September 16th, 2009 at 07:45
@ back4more:
To each his own I guess. Some people like bipolar captains and some don’t. But sorry, that song is not debatable, totally sucks
September 16th, 2009 at 23:01
why are you even speaking about a st that is not ng?
September 18th, 2009 at 08:34
I didn’t think Voyager was all that bad either honestly
January 24th, 2012 at 19:19
Malcolm Reed was written so badly–remember the episode where nobody knows anything about him, even his parents? How is anybody supposed to relate to that or give a damn? Just terrible. The acting didn’t help. Anthony Montgomery was terrible too. I surprised there was no mention of Trip though! He was a terrible character! His claim to fame was that he was a clueless hick, with the occasional exception of when he talked about warp-cores or something. Just terrible.